Joint or Separate Bank Accounts in Marriage

Have you ever heard or used the phrase “What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours"? Well, in some relationships, this isn't how things really are. Some relationships operate on the premise of "What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine." This type of thinking is one of the root causes for many of the  financial problems that couples are facing in relationships. Many people in relationships adapt the idea “I work hard for my money so I do with it as I please.” However, not telling your partner what you do with your money is what some refer to as financial infidelity.

We are living in a time when both men and women in relationships are usually hard-working individuals. Who holds the traditional "breadwinner" role may not be clear in some relationships. These days, both men and women alike aim to be financially independent. While dating, couples are comfortable enough to talk about almost everything including sex, future plans, goals, where to live, children, hopes, and dreams. However, when it comes to money, for some reason it all of a sudden gets uncomfortable.

These days, some couples share everything but their money and what they do with it. These couples usually have an idea about each other’s financial situation and, based on that, they divide bills around the house. It is not uncommon to see couples decide who pays the light bill, mortgage or rent, groceries and any other number of bills and living expenses, without ever really knowing each other’s salary. This is where problems tend to begin and, along with them, the idea that one partner in the relationship should take care of the financial needs of the household. We want one partner to use THEIR money to pay for most bills, since they are “the breadwinner.”  And the other partner wants to use their own money to do whatever they want with it. This situation is an equation for inequality and for other problems in a relationship.

In an ideal situation, partners in a relationship should have at least one joint bank account. This account would be where 99% of the joint income goes, and where the bills are paid out of. Each partner would still be free to have a private bank account with their spending money in it, but that spending money would be equally distributed after the bills are paid. There should be an awareness of each other’s salary and of where the money is going.

Some people seem to be oblivious to the fact that money is an important part of every relationship. When appropriate, don’t be afraid to talk about money, especially when considering marriage.

A wise man once said that relationships are dependent on 4 C’s: Communication, Commitment, Compromise, and Currency. All are equally important to the success of a relationship.

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